Steering Committee Purpose
Four of us were on Steering Committee; myself and my roommate were the two females and there were two males.
Before a Purpose, I had felt the energy shift with Steering Committee and the counselors - that my roommate was ‘not healthy’ or ‘not being honest.’
And before she arrived I recall Staff giving us a heads up in what was coming and how and what could we contribute about her being ‘fucked up.’
She was my roommate. I was with her all the time. We were on Steering together. I had been in The Group 2+ years, but I knew in my gut what they were saying wasn’t true - she wasn’t fucked up - she wasn’t dishonest - nothing was wrong with her.
I didn’t stick up for her in that Purpose. It was her turn; her turn under the hammer to receive a blow she had no idea was coming.
She was sobbing, and it didn’t stop. No one in the room stopped.
Maybe their tone got softer, but not less firm.
I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t agree with the rest of Steering Committee, but I couldn’t disagree either.
She cried so hard she had to leave the room. No one went to check on her.
I couldn’t not - I did do that and found her on the curb outside of the satellite just crying. I sat next to her and put my arm around her and listened silently to her confusion and despair.
So many thing, I would hear and participate in, that I knew wasn’t right. It didn’t sit in my soul. And I ignored my soul because I was taught to by The Group.
Even though I understand how it all worked and not to blame myself - it’s a struggle to know I knew the truth and ignored it.
To the girl I never told: that night in Purpose - you hadn’t done anything wrong.
- The Insight Program Survivor Story.
