Enthusiastic Sobriety Cult Information & Recovery Resources
Why do people join Cults?
Today, there are thousands of cults around the world. Broadly speaking, a cult is a group or movement with a shared commitment to a usually extreme ideology that’s typically embodied in a charismatic leader. But what exactly differentiates cults from other groups – and why do people join them? Janja Lalich describes how cults recruit and manipulate their members.
“Here's a use of various strategies, the program was very effective at breaking me down psychologically until I no longer had any sense for what thoughts and feelings of mine were real or accurate. When every single internally generated thought, idea, or feeling is assumed to be invalid, warped, twisted, or sick, then one is left in a state of complete dependence on the group for their grasp on reality. When you can't trust your own thinking and perception, you can't form a cohesive identity or sense of self, the program knows this and uses it very effectively to create identities for each individual that exists only in the context of the group. So not only are you convinced that you will die if you leave, but yourself as an individual dies if you stay.”
- The Insight Program Survivor
What is a Cult?
Steven Hassen developed the BITE Model to describe the specific methods that cults use to recruit and maintain control over people. “BITE” stands for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional control. Many people think of mind control as an ambiguous, mystical process that cannot be defined in concrete terms. In reality, mind control refers to a specific set of methods and techniques, such as hypnosis or thought-stopping, that influences how a person thinks, feels, and acts.
BITE Model of Undue Influence
The BITE Method is a way of outlining the different methods of mind control that cults use to gain and retain control over people and their thoughts. The method was first described in Dr. Steven Hassan’s book Combating Cult Mind Control. Hassan wrote the book after leaving the Moon cult and being “deprogrammed,” as he calls it.
The BITE Method consists of four major methods of control: Behavior control, Information control, Thought control, and Emotional control. By exerting all four of these types of control, a cult can gain full power over a human being and essentially strip them of their free will.
How do you determine if Enthusiastic Sobriety Programs are destructive cults? We encourage you to compare The Group to the BITE Model of control. These numbers below were collected from ESAAlliance’s Anonymous Mass Complaint Form.
Enthusiastic Sobriety Programs BITE Model
-
Behavioral Control
Behavior control has to do primarily with restricting and controlling the physical movements of a human being. Cults seek to control who their members live with and associate with, hoping to keep people apart who might share similar dissenting ideas. They also seek to control who you have a relationship with or who you have sex with.
Cults may also exercise control over more cosmetic things like hairstyles or clothing. They may control what you eat or ask you to fast or prevent you from sleeping, knowing that a hungry and tired person is easier to manipulate than someone who is well-rested and satiated.
-
Information Control
Successfully brainwashing people necessitates that they don’t have access to information that is contrary to the teachings of the cult. In a general sense, this means deliberately withholding information from the cult members, distorting the information so that it’s more in keeping with the ethos of the cult, and systematically lying to cult members.
In its practical applications, information control is carried out by restricting members’ access to television, newspapers, or other media outlets, cutting off their contact with people outside of the cult, and distributing information sources approved by the cult. Cults also encourage their members to spy on each other, creating a sort of buddy system to ensure that no one is consuming outside information.
-
Thought Control
Cults often encourage thought-stopping techniques, meaning techniques that shut down the process of questioning. Activities like chanting, speaking in tongues, singing, humming, dancing, and praying become substitutes for questioning one’s reality, encouraging people to never allow “negative” thoughts into their minds.
In these ways and through the entire atmosphere of the cult, they seek to instill a black-and-white way of thinking into their members. Anything that is in agreement with the cult is good, and anything contrary to the cult is bad and should be avoided or even destroyed.
-
Emotional Control
In a similar way to how cults teach that certain thoughts are bad, they also teach their members that they must do away with certain emotions. Emotions like restlessness, doubt, homesickness, or anger can cause cult members to dissent, and so cults do everything in their power to eliminate those emotions in their members.
The primary way that cults control people’s emotions is through fear. If you fear the outside world, why would you ever think of leaving the cult? If you fear that you will never find happiness or salvation if you don’t follow the teachings of the cult, why would you ever doubt?
Cigarettes & Group Indoctrination
One of the more bizarre aspects of the group is the way cigarettes were used as an effective form of indoctrination.
Imagine an unhappy teenager who’s skeptical of the group they’ve just been introduced to: within their first few days of meeting this wild group who profess to love them, the teenager hears from a staff counselor “what would you say if I could not only get your parents to get off your ass about smoking cigarettes, but could even get them to buy your cigarettes for you?” The teenager scoffs and insists that’s not possible. Then that staff counselor meets privately with the parents again, reasserting how sick their kid is, and how the group is their only hope to not lose their kid forever. The parents just want their kid to be OK, and feel desperately unsure of what to do, but are willing to trust these charismatic counselors who insist they know how to help. They agree to commit to the program, and will find a way to get the money. Then the counselor explains how much goodwill and trust with their kid it will earn them if they’re willing to to do something unconventional and buy their child cigarettes. They assure them this is not part of their addiction and actually helps these kids break their addiction. And, seeing the crowd of laughing and smoking kids, a lot of parents concede. That’s an impressive feat to most young people - smokers or nonsmokers.
I don’t know if it still plays out exactly that way but, the founder, Bob Meehan’s explicit endorsements of cigarettes left an indelible mark on group culture since the 1970’s. The group started in the very early days of the federal anti-smoking campaigns, and so endorsing cigarettes was an easy way to position himself and the group as anti-establishment. Being anti-establishment is an important characteristic in attracting young people to join a sobriety group, and it’s a lasting aspect of the group’s branding. Though the sometimes fatal consequences of cigarettes can take decades to manifest, this group custom ensures years of addiction for countless young people who thought they were getting actual help.
This single strategy does a lot of harm to group members, while it serves multiple strategic purposes for the staff leadership who profit off the group. It securely establishes the staff as an ultimate authority in the young people’s lives, since it seems to the young person this group has made the impossible possible, and that ensures loyalty. Such a mystifying accomplishment as getting their parents to condone smoking compels a lot of young people to overcome any doubts they may have had about this group. It becomes one more thing they now share in common with this interesting group of rowdy affectionate young people, thereby deepening a sense of belonging that can keep members stuck for years.
It is also perhaps a first time staff get parents to betray their protective instincts and better judgement, beginning them on a path of having to resolve their cognitive dissonance. Once the parents have given so much to the group, they’re less inclined to seriously evaluate their participation.
In these ways, cigarettes are used to serve the purpose of maintaining and growing the group’s numbers, allegiance, and income, at the expense of families’ physical, mental, relational, and financial well-being.
What is Brainwashing?
Brainwashing, also called Coercive Persuasion, is the systematic effort to persuade nonbelievers to accept a certain allegiance, command, or doctrine. A colloquial term, it is more generally applied to any technique designed to manipulate human thought or action against the desire, will, or knowledge of the individual.
By controlling the physical and social environment, an attempt is made to destroy loyalties to any unfavorable groups or individuals, to demonstrate to the individual that their attitudes and patterns of thinking are incorrect and must be changed, and to develop loyalty and unquestioning obedience to the ruling party.
How does Brainwashing Work?
-
You are not who you think you are. This is a systematic attack on the group member’s sense of self (also called their identity or ego) and their core belief system. The leader denies everything that makes the group member who they are.
-
You are bad. While the identity crisis is setting in, the leader is simultaneously creating an overwhelming sense of guilt in the group member. Leaders repeatedly and mercilessly attach the subject for any “sin” the group member has committed, large or small. Leaders may criticize the target for everything from their beliefs to the way they eat too slowly. The group member begins to feel a general sense of shame, that everything they do is wrong.
-
Agree with me that you are bad. Once the group member is disoriented and drowning in guilt, the leader forces them (either with the threat of death or of continuance of mental attack) to denounce their family, friends and peers who share the same “wrong” belief system or way of thinking that they hold. This betrayal of the group member’s own beliefs and of people they feel a sense of loyalty to increase the shame and loss of identity the group member is already experiencing. Everything they loved and enjoyed is deemed “sinful,” sick, or wrong. They are punished and shamed for personal interests and critical thinking. They are lead to believe they are lying to themselves and are doomed if they continue on this path.
-
Who am I, where am I and what am I supposed to do? With the group member’s identity in crisis, experiencing deep shame and having betrayed what they have always believed in, the group member may undergo a “nervous breakdown.” It may involve uncontrollable sobbing, deep depression and general disorientation. The group member may have lost their grip on reality and have the feeling of being completely lost and alone. When the group member reaches their breaking point, their sense of self is pretty much up for grabs - they have no clear understanding of who they are or what is happening to them. At this point, the leader sets up the temptation to convert to another belief system that will save the group member from their misery.
-
I can help you. With the group member in a state of crisis, the leader offers some small kindness or reprieve from the abuse. The leader may offer the group member a drink of water, or take a moment to ask what they miss about home. In a state of a breakdown resulting from an endless psychological attack, the small kindness seems huge, and the group member may experience a sense of relief and gratitude completely out of proportion to the offering, as if the leader has saved their life.
-
You can help yourself. For the first time in the brainwashing process, the group member is faced with the contrast between the guilt and pain of identity assault and the sudden relief of leniency. The group member may feel a desire to reciprocate the kindness offered to them, and at this point, the leader may present the possibility of confession as a means to relieving guilt and pain.
-
After weeks or months of assault, confusion, breakdown and moments of leniency, the group member’s guilt has lost all meaning - they’re not sure what they have done wrong, they just know they are wrong. This creates something of a blank slate that lets the leader fill in the blanks: they can attach that guilt, that sense of “wrongness,” to whatever they want. The group member comes to believe it is their belief system or way of thinking that is the cause of their shame. The contrast between old and new has been established: the old belief system or way of thinking is associated with psychological agony; and the new belief system is associated with the possibility of escaping that agony.
-
It’s not me; it’s my beliefs / old ways of thinking. The embattled group member is relieved to learn there is an external cause of their wrongness, that it is not themselves that is inescapably bad - this means they can escape their wrongness by escaping the wrong belief system or way of thinking. All they have to do is denounce the people and institutions associated with that belief system and way of thinking, and they won’t be in pain anymore. The group member has the power to release themself from their wrongness by confessing to acts associated with their old belief system or way of thinking. With their full confessions, the group member has completed their psychological rejection of their former identity. It is now up to the leader to offer the group member a new one.
-
The leader introduces a new belief system as the path to “good.” At this stage, the leader stops the abuse, offering the group member physical comfort and mental calm in conjunction with the new belief system. The group member is made to feel that it is they who must choose between old and new, giving the group member a sense of choice. The choice is not a difficult one: the new identity is safe and desirable because it is nothing like the one that led to their breakdown.
-
I choose good. Contrasting the agony of the old with the peacefulness of the new, the group member chooses the new identity, clinging to it like a life preserver. They reject their old belief system and ways of thinking and pledges allegiance to the new one that is going to make their life better. At this final stage, there are often rituals or ceremonies to induct the converted group member into their new community. This stage has been described by some brainwashing victims as a feeling of “rebirth.”
“Everything revolved around the Group so my identity WAS a Group member. It was all I did.”
— The Crossroads Program Survivor
“My identity became the Group. Even in my mid 30s, I’m still trying to rediscover myself after Crossroads.”
— The Crossroads Program Survivor
Enthusiastic Sobriety’s 12 Steps for Teens and Young Adults
Written by Bob Meehan, in his self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road: Our Children and Drugs.
-
In Bob Meehan’s self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road, he states:
“the (drug) abuser blamed his problems on police, his parents, his teachers, his boss, his friends, his enemies, God, Iranian students, and all other “white folks” who were convenient targets… In the first step of recovery, the abuser must find a new villain… This villain is drugs.”
The emphasis on mind-changing chemicals goes far beyond intoxicating or illegal substances in Enthusiastic Sobriety programs. Mind or “mood-altering” chemicals include birth control, anti-depressants, and virtually all medications to physical ailments. Survivors are regularly taken off of their medications “cold turkey” which enable emotional and physical destabilization and dysregulation. A convenient precursor to “insanity.”
-
In Bob Meehan’s self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road, he states:
“In our “get high” society, just about everyone he knows is an obstacle (to sobriety)… It takes about one year to 18 months sober before a person will have the strength and confidence to mingle comfortably again in our “get-high” society.” page 125.
Here is where the indoctrination and cult-like isolation begins in Enthusiastic Sobriety Programs. Bob Meehan explains that everyone in society is an obstacle or risk factor to someones sobriety. He also points out that 18 months of sobriety is the typical length of time for someone to re-enter into society, which is conveniently the minimum length of time clients remain in The Group. This assures the clients and parents that this intense isolation from society for a long duration of time is necessary.
Bob Meehan then continues this train of thought to include isolation from family members. Bob justifies this with an example of his own response to his father who had offered him a beer after some time sober:
“I looked him right in the eyes and said, ‘Yeah, Dad, I can drink a beer, but if I do I’m likely to rape the barmaid and burn this place down before I’m done.’” page 126.
As this is a strange and alarming remark to include in a book on adolescent substance abuse recovery, Bob continues to describe why Group members must isolate themselves from their family:
“For the recovering chemical abuser, most people - and that can include parents, relatives, even close friends - are losers. At least for a while, he must stick with winners, people who do not use mind-abusing chemicals.” page 126.
In short - everyone not in an Enthusiastic Sobriety Program is a loser, and you must “stick with winners” for at least 18 months, though most clients are in the program between 1-5 years, and some Staff members stay for a lifetime.
-
In Bob Meehan’s self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road, he states:
“Any circle of friends constitutes a Higher Power… That doesn’t make it a sect, a cult, or a religion.”
It is interesting that right off the bat, Bob must reassure you that this ideology does not make up a cult, but his further explanation might be contrary to this early notion. Bob continues:
“A group of people who don’t do drugs represents a positive force that we choose to call God… The goal of my drug program is to reach the largest number of young people possible. So I keep things simple and concrete. Positive peer pressure and the support of a group of people who believe in sobriety are what the recovering drug abuser needs more than anything when he decides to go straight. The support of others is love, which is what God is, right?” - page 129.
After this long, noble explanation of what a loving God is - a group of positive peer pressure - we must reflect back to what Bob and all of the drug abuse counselors in Enthusiastic Sobriety programs believe - that you must “Stick with Winners” which only includes fellow group members and does exclude parents, family members, close non-group friends and society at large. This is a hallmark of high-control groups.
It is of note that reliance upon others to physically keep you sober is not conducive to long term recovery. Most people struggle leaving the program, because they left their entire understanding of a Higher Power with it. In order to stay sober, some clients choose to go through counselor training at the Meehan Institute and become Staff because they have been told repeatedly that it is the only way to stay sober. On Staff, the winner’s circle gets even smaller, as only other Staff members are considered winners - which they can only associate with, date and marry.
-
In Bob Meehan’s self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road, he states:
“Step Three requires that the abuser recognize that Good Orderly Direction from the positive peer group represents a power that can help him distinguish between right and wrong for himself. Step Four requires that the abuser make a decision to let the power of the group be the major influence in his life… It simply means that when faced with decisions, the abuser must depend upon the positive force of the group to help him choose between right and wrong. The group doesn’t make decisions for him, but its power helps him make the right choice for himself… What’s right for the peer group becomes right for him.”
Here, Bob writes, and the program enforces, that all decision making powers should be based off of what the group would deem right or wrong. With an incredibly isolated community that adheres to a specific doctrine, that separates people into “us vs. them” mentality, is yet another characteristic of a high-control group or cult indoctrination. Many survivors have explained their inability to function or make simple decisions after leaving the program and struggle to find a sense of self or identity post group.
-
In Bob Meehan’s self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road, he states:
“People don’t want to own their own behavior. We are reared from day one to blame others for our mistakes. Consider the way people usually act when a relationship breaks up. Let’s say a man’s wife cheats on him. He becomes the victim of her betrayal, and paints a picture of himself as the incarnation of purity… This man needs to have a talk with himself. He needs to ask, “How did I fail in this relationship?… Did I play sexual games with her that forced her away from me?… Ultimately, he too must accept 100 percent responsibility for the failure of his marriage.” - Page 132
Bob Meehan is excellent at breaking down complex issues into simple false comparisons and promoting black and white thinking. This is another characteristic of high-control groups, as Robert J. Lifton describes in his eight criteria for thought reform. Regularly, Enthusiastic Sobriety survivors say that while in the program they were made to look for their part in sexual assault, childhood abuse, and even their medical ailments.
Bob continues, “Step Five requires that we make a moral inventory of ourselves… In instances where we blamed others for the bad things that happened to us, we attempt to see how we may have contributed to the problem. The objective standard we use to distinguish right from wrong is the peer group.” - Page 133
Again, the sense of morality is up to the peer group and the enclosed environment Bob has created in his Enthusiastic Sobriety Programs.
-
In Bob Meehan’s self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road, he states:
“A drug abuser who cannot own his behavior will never beat his drug habit. Total self-honesty must become a way of life. The recovering abuser must see that his problem is in his own soul and that he cannot blame others for his shortcomings. When he blames others, he becomes a victim and provides himself a rationale for taking drugs… In Step Six, we own our behavior and accept our character defects... We must own every action we took and every reaction we provoked from others. We must stop blaming the “white folks” upon whom we have been pawning off our behavior.”
Victim blaming and taking “ownership” for every aspect of ones life is one of the most prevalent and core beliefs of Enthusiastic Sobriety programs. It even goes as far as Bob Meehan preaching that “We chose our lives before we were born” which he uses to reinforce that there are “No Victims, Only Volunteers.”
This is regularly turned against anyone who speaks negatively about the Program, as this simplistic thinking does not allow abuse to occur, but the “victim” is only looking for someone to blame for their perceived misfortune, and are obviously in the midst of active drug addiction, as sober people are never victims.
-
In Bob Meehan’s self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road, he states:
“This step is similar to Step Four in which we agreed to turn to the Higher Power of the peer group when faced with questions of right and wrong… We now turn to the power of the group to break those patterns, correct the flaws, and accept the wrongs we have committed… We ask the group to help us change the way we are.”
A survivor of The Insight Program explains:
“Here's a use of various strategies, the program was very effective at breaking me down psychologically until I no longer had any sense for what thoughts and feelings of mine were real or accurate. When every single internally generated thought, idea, or feeling is assumed to be invalid, warped, twisted, or sick, then one is left in a state of complete dependence on the group for their grasp on reality. When you can't trust your own thinking and perception, you can't form a cohesive identity or sense of self, the program knows this and uses it very effectively to create identities for each individual that exists only in the context of the group. So not only are you convinced that you will die if you leave, but yourself as an individual dies if you stay.”
-
In Bob Meehan’s self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road, he states:
“Let’s define our terms here. When we say “harmed,” we are speaking of actions that caused serious physical or emotional damage to another person… My definition of “harmed” was far too loose. Normally, this list will not exceed a dozen names. For teenagers, it often contains far fewer.” - page 135
Bob does not continue to explain his alternative definition of “harmed”, but he does point out a rather short list of owed apologies. (Even though he’s a self-proclaimed ex-convict heroin addict… Seems like he should have more than 12 people to make amends to in his drug using carrier.) The rest of this short passage does eventually get to the point of making a list of people we have harmed.
Another Insight program survivor explains their experience with Step Eight and their Significant Other or S.O. meeting in Outpatient treatment:
“When I was in OP, my counselors kept pushing me to be honest on my SO list. I wrote down what I owned amends for to my family and my counselors didn’t think it was “enough” or “honest.” They kept pushing me to confess something worth apologizing for, and eventually I said that I stole my mom’s car, which never happened. When I said this to my parents, my mom’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. She was shocked at this (untrue) confession - and this absolutely played into both of our commitment and compliance to the program.”
-
In Bob Meehan’s self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road, he states:
“Whereas, we must be “willing” to make amends to everyone we’ve harmed, and we have to confront only those for whom it is reasonably possible. I wouldn’t recommend anyone jump on an airplane and fly across the country to make amends. If confronting a person would be extremely uncomfortable, I would say it was enough to be willing to make amends. If someone doubts the wisdom of making a particular amend, he can always consult his Higher Power - the judgment of his peer group.”
Two points that stick out here - Bob discourages any amends that might make a person uncomfortable or the group would deem inappropriate, i.e. old friends and people outside the program. Enthusiastic Sobriety programs require group isolation from the outside world - much like cults.
The second point, again with not making amends that would make someone “extremely uncomfortable” - apologies among group members are rare. Typically, when a group member confronts their peer or staff member about their harmful behavior, they are not met with an apology but accused of being “too sensitive” and a plethora of gaslighting phrases.
-
In Bob Meehan’s self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road, he states:
“This step encourages maintenance of our commitment to honesty and self-awareness. It reminds us that we must continually take inventories and make amends whenever possible. Some people find diaries helpful for working Step Ten. Others meet weekly with a significant other to review their behavior. Step Ten helps us make self-honesty a way of life.”
This is the entirety of the tenth step in Bob’s book. It is surprisingly brief. The struggle that most Enthusiastic Sobriety survivors face is untangling the nuances and the alternative definitions that they were taught while in The Program. On face value, this passage is the least problematic, however, if you were in The Group the messaging is rather loaded. The program requires excessive “oversharing” of all thoughts and “insanities” which blur boundaries of individualism and independent thinking. If you aren’t constantly having appointments, one-on-one talks with peers or counselors, or sharing every thought that comes up, you’re dishonest and spiritually sick.
Having this impression of the 12 steps, and the associated harms and problematic methodology of Enthusiastic Sobriety Programs, Enthusiastic Sobriety survivors often struggle continuing their sobriety in other 12 step programs that use similar phrases.
-
In Bob Meehan’s self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road, he states:
“Improving our conscious contact with a Higher Power through prayer or meditation does not mean humming on street corners, talking to burning bushes, or chanting oneself into a frenzy… It means stopping for a moment of self-reflection now and then. At meetings, for example, we ask everyone to be silent for a minute to reflect upon a person, a subject, one of the Twelve Steps, or some problem they are having… When we “pray,” we don’t mechanically recite traditional prayers; we simply take a moment to be still, to try to understand the force of love around us, and to ask that force how it wants us to act.”
Sitting still or alone in reflection for a duration of time in the group means you are “in your head” and on your way to a relapse. Bob here suggests that mediation, or the 11th step only requires a moment or a minute of time. That’s because anything longer would allow too much independent thinking. Enthusiastic Sobriety survivors have been explicitly discouraged from meditation or religious worshipping practices while in the program.
-
In Bob Meehan’s self-published book, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road, he states:
“Many groups, once they have transmitted esoteric knowledge to their members, ask them to go out and actively seek new bodies to join the fold. This, I believe, is what makes the “unenlightened” public at large view them as cults. In my drug program we never, never proselytize.”
This is almost one of the biggest red flags in all of Bob’s steps. One, the statement that the group does not proselytize or recruit new members is just inherently false and an outright lie. Each program website offers public speaking engagements for the directors of the program to do just that - recruit new members. It’s also the second time in the steps that Bob has to warn the reader that Enthusiastic Sobriety programs are not cults. Yet he continues to contradict his own promise in the very next sentence:
“Of course, when someone stops taking drugs and sees major improvements in his life, he is likely to feel “enlightened.” Teenagers, especially, can become terribly self-righteous, because by nature they are so compulsive and uncompromising. They may very well go out and try to convince their friends to come to program meetings. There is nothing I can do about that. Suffice it to say that the group puts absolutely no pressure on anyone to bring “guests” to meetings.”
Again, survivors have been telling stories of recruiting their friends, their siblings and going to great lengths to love-bomb and coerce prospective clients to stay - in Texas, survivors have gone to the extremes of kidnapping clients to bring them to meetings. Many Staff survivors have told stories of Purpose Meetings, where the mission was to find the person who was the “spiritual block” preventing new people from joining.
The Insight Program Survivor
Manipulation of memories was a big one for me. From the beginning being asked to tell my life story so many times that it started to morph. They also made statements about my identity or who I was as a person within hours of knowing me. Steve Winkleman knew the truth about my drug use in the beginning and he saw how my story changed over time. He would tell me to rethink certain memories I had and ask me questions like, "if you know you used to be a liar when you were a kid how do you know you weren't lying about this thing too?" and "if you can't remember every detail of something it's probably because it didn't happen".
The counselors would say all the time that we can't trust our own thinking and have to rely on the group. Our own thinking got us into rehab.
Steve Winkleman knew I was lying about my drug use and never stopped me. After I graduated and I told him I wasn't planning on staying sober he told me he never thought I needed to be there in the first place.
Thought Reform: Loaded Language.
-
Loaded language refers to words and terms that are meant to have a strong emotional impact, not necessarily a logical one, and which are often used to sway opinion or gain support.
The use of loaded language and slogans is meant to constrict knowledge, stop critical thoughts, and reduce complexities into platitudinous buzzwords.
-
“Complexities” are often reduced to meaningless phrases. Rather than discussing current events or the human condition on a deeper level, these complex subjects are reduced to a simplistic concept.
In turn, there is no conversation that might lead to a deeper understanding of human nature, history, or politics and social issues, and a group member’s knowledge is then stifled.
-
“Buzz words” are words or phrases used to sound authoritative or technical, but become so popular that they soon lose all meaning.
“Platitude” is a dull or flat word or phrase used as if it’s fresh and new and inspiring. These words also have little meaning but appeal to a group member’s emotions, inspiring loyalty and trust.
-
The words used to create this mentality are far less subtle, and create fear, distain, or even downright hatred for those outside the group.
This language doesn’t allow members to have a positive or even neutral point of view of nonmembers, but they need to be wary of outsiders, according to these statements. This thinking plays on the emotion of fear, to keep members trapped in the cult.
-
Loaded language is also used to create a sense of superiority in cult members. This loaded language has appealed to the group member’s emotions and their need to feel special and better than others.
Feeling superior to others can also cause a person to want to join a cult in the first place, and this language plays on that need.
-
Loaded language can work hand-in-hand with logical fallacies, or flaws in the logic of someone’s argument.
Ad Hominem Attack: Where you attack a person rather than discussing what that person is saying, is a logical fallacy used by cults. You dismiss something an ex-member says by calling them “resentful,” for instance, no matter the logic and value of what they’re saying.
False Dichotomy: When an argument is presented as having only black and white thinking; for example, “If you leave, you will die.”
By presenting this as the only possible outcome for the group member, the critical thinking of cult members is shut down; they are not encouraged to discuss other potential outcomes for leaving the group.
Non Sequitur Conclusion: A conclusion that isn’t necessarily supported by the statement before it. For instance, “If you don’t buy this product for your child, you hate your child.”
The conclusion, that you hate your child, isn’t supported by the statement before it, that you didn’t buy a certain product. “If you leave our group, you are spiritually sick and fucked up,” is a non sequitur conclusion used by cults.
Red Herring: Is a statement that is meant to distract you from what is being said or discussed; for example, if you were to ask a cult member about lawsuits they’re facing for child sex abuse, the cult member might respond saying, “What about this other group? Why don’t you ask them about their child abuse problem?” That cult member is diverting attention away from the subject with a red herring.
Cult Phobia Indoctrination
-
What is a phobia?
A phobia is a persistent, excessive, unrealistic fear of an object, person, animal, activity or situation.
Phobia Indoctrination: inculcating irrational fears about leaving the group or questioning the leader’s authority.
No happiness or fulfillment possible outside of the group.
Terrible consequences if you leave: suicide, relapse, insanity.
Shunning of those who leave; fear of being rejected by friends and family.
Never a legitimate reason to leave; those who leave are weak, undisciplined, unspiritual, worldly, or seduced by money, sex, or rock & roll… Or rap music, in The Group.
-
What do phobias have to do with cult groups and mind control?
In some cults, members are systematically made to be phobic about ever leaving the group.
Phobic thinking makes it impossible for members to even conceive of ever being happy and successful outside the group. Members are programed, either overtly or subtly, to believe if they ever leave, they will die.
Cult phobias take away people’s choices. Members truly believe they will be destroyed if they leave the safety of the group. They think there is no way outside the group for them to grow - spiritually, intellectually or emotionally.
-
Phobia indoctrination is mind control.
Members will have a panic reaction at the thought of leaving the group. They are told they’ll go insane, be killed, become drug addicts or commit suicide.
Such tales are often repeated both in lectures and informal gossip. It becomes impossible for cult members to feel they can have any happiness or security outside the group.
When cult leaders tell the public “Members can leave anytime they want; the door is open,” they give the impression the members have free will and are choosing to stay. Actually, members may not have a real choice, because they’ve been indoctrinated to fear the outside world. This is referred to as a “bounded choice.”
-
What kind of phobias exist in Enthusiastic Sobriety Programs?
You will die if you leave. The Group quickly begins pushing the rhetoric that your addiction is so extreme, and your self-esteem is so low, and that you were moments from dying before entering The Group - that death by suicide or overdose is inevitable if you leave.
You will be “fucked up” if you leave. The Group succeeds by effectively dismantling the individual’s trust within themselves. Group members and staff are regularly criticized on their “spiritual condition,” which always seems to be a moving goal post. Their choices and thinking are constantly under scrutiny. Personal thoughts get labeled as “insanities” that they must confess at all times. Without The Group, members who leave will be amoral, spiritually bankrupt, and “fucked.”
-
Enthusiastic Sobriety Staff Survivor Explains
“Though I couldn’t have acknowledged it at the time, when I was in The Group and on Staff, I feared that if I ever fell short in serving the primary purpose of The Group, then I was failing my own purpose in life - which would mean I was at risk of relapsing and dying.
It was relentless, impossible pressure - like to the point that I’d say was a phobia that I was stuck with for years.
We were conditioned to do anything to avoid hell on earth, which we were assured awaited us if we didn’t live as they advised us to.
It’s a horrible level of fear to induce in vulnerable families.”
-
Enthusiastic Sobriety Group Survivor Explains
“I became convinced that I couldn’t possibly function in the outside world, that my true purpose was to give back what I had been given and become a counselor.
I was both inferior to “normies” because I was an addict, yet superior at the same time because of my spirituality and sobriety.
There was only one place for me to belong, and it was with The Program. Plus, I “knew” I would die if I left. I suffered from suicidal ideation while in The Group and self-harmed.
I never got appropriate help for that - instead it was wielded against me as “proof” that I would be dead and ‘fucked’ without The Group.”
The Pathway Program Survivor
“It became difficult to cope with negative emotions or failure or rejection when you are told to constantly forget about the negatives and only have positive feelings. To the point where I often felt suicidal over the most mundane things. It was either very high mental highs or very low mental lows. There was no in between.
Staff would tell stories about kids that had bailed and relapsed and were living terrible lives, and said the same would happen to us if we left. Funny, we never heard any stories about the kids who had gone on to lead better lives after bailing. I was completely manipulated by staff into believing that all negative stories I had heard or seen online about the Pathway program were from bailed kids who were pissed they couldn’t stay sober. It never occurred to me that this wasn’t true because I trusted these people to help me.”
Why Do Some Former Group Members Only Have a Positive Experience in The Program?
Enthusiastic Sobriety Abuse Survivor and former Staff member explains the spectrum of experiences in The Group and why some people do not consider it a harmful institution.
What you need to know about “Love Bombing”
Information on Spiritual Abuse
-
Spiritual abuse is a type of abuse that results from a spiritual leader, system or indoctrinated individual’s attempts to control and/or manipulate another individual. It can be difficult to recognize, and many people are entirely unaware that this type of abuse even exists.
Spiritual abuse may be defined as injury or mistreatment of the soul, of the deepest and most intimate aspects of a person’s being.
Not everything hurtful in the name of spirituality or God is spiritual abuse. Sometimes people are simply insensitive and ill-informed. Abuse of the spiritual nature points more to self-serving leadership and narcissistic power than ignorance.
Spiritual abuse can also happen whenever someone tries to tell you how to feel, what to think and/or what to believe so much that your own original thoughts, feelings and beliefs are not allowed or deemed “sick.”
For example, when someone is told by a spiritual leader that the reason they had an auto accident was that they’d been thinking negative thoughts and that they need to control their negative thinking to keep bad things from happening to them.
This has the potential to raise so much anxiety for someone to push away (repress) any negative thoughts or feelings and to replace them with what seems to be positive thoughts and feelings; or else they “willed” bad things to happen to them or others.
This teaching of “karma” is abusive and strips a person away from their own individual thoughts, feelings and beliefs and makes them believe they are intrinsically wrong, sick or unworthy of love or good things.
-
Honest questioning is met with defensiveness and contempt.
Subtle shame is a constant undercurrent.
Feelings of depression or anxiety are considered lack of faith.
When you point to a problem, you become the problem.
Group direction comes from a single human source.
All success is because of “God” and all failure is of your own making.
Leadership demands blind obedience, anything less is considered disrespectful.
Conversations seem loving - but afterwards you feel hurt.
Deep contempt for outsiders and former members.
Exclusive Us vs. Them language.
-
Spiritual Bypassing described a tendency to use spiritual explanations to avoid complex psychological issues. Spiritual Bypassing can be defined as a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.”
Rather than working through hard emotions or confronting unresolved issues, people would simply dismiss them with spiritual explanations.
While spirituality can be a force that helps enhance an individual’s well-being, engaging in spiritual bypassing as a way to avoid complicated feelings or issues can ultimately stifle growth.
-
Spiritual Bypassing is a way of hiding behind spirituality or spiritual practices. It prevents people from acknowledging what they are feeling and distances them from both themselves and others. Some examples of spiritual bypassing include:
Avoid feelings of anger.
Spiritual superiority used to hide insecurities.
Traumatic events are “spiritual lessons.”
Extremely high and unattainable idealism.
Feelings of detachment.
Focus only on spirituality and ignoring the present.
Toxic positivity.
Believing positive thinking will solve all problems.
Defense mechanisms like denial and repression.
-
Spiritual bypassing isn’t always a bad thing. In times of severe distress, it can be a way to temporarily relieve frustration or anxiety. However, researchers suggest that it can be damaging when used as a long-term strategy to suppress problems. Some of the potential negative consequences include:
Denying difficult emotions: Rather than deal with the negative feelings and any resulting reactions to those feelings - spiritual bypassing becomes a tool for avoidance.
Dismissing other people’s emotions: Spiritual bypassing can be used as a tool to gaslight others into staying silent about things that have harmed them.
Judging others: Judging other people for expressing justifiable anger is a form of spiritual bypassing.
Justifying suffering: Is a form of victim-blaming, especially in cases where people are experiencing the negative effects of various kinds of trauma. Telling them that they are to blame for their own pain and suffering.
-
Spiritual Bypassing may act as a way to protect the self from things we find threatening, but it neglects an important truth. We cannot pick and choose which emotions we experience. Life cannot be good thoughts, feelings and emotions alone. In order to experience the highs, we must also endure the lows. Here are some tips on how to confront spiritual bypassing:
Avoid labeling emotions as “good or bad.”
Remember negative thoughts and feelings serve a purpose.
Uncomfortable feelings are a sign that there is something wrong and something needs to change.
Survivors Explain Spiritual Abuse
Coping with Cult Involvement:
A Handbook for Families and Friends.
This is a handbook for parents, siblings, spouses and others who think that someone they love has become involved in an abusive cult or related group. Cult involvement affects not only the person directly involved, but also many others. The cult member may discard family, old friends and business colleagues, discontinue a romantic relationship, terminate a marriage, and leave behind them a swathe of discord and sadness that takes years to mend or may never mend entirely. The book's goals are to help you gain perspective on such situations, conduct a systematic evaluation, assess realistically what, if anything, you can or should do about it, and in general, to cope.
Livia Bardin, M.S.W.
-
International Cultic Studies Association
Founded in 1979, the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) is a global network of people concerned about psychological manipulation and abuse in cultic and other high-control environments. ICSA's mission is to provide information, education, and help to those adversely affected by or interested in cultic and other high-control groups and relationships.
-
Cult Recovery 101 - Therapist Directory
Our associates are consultants, psychotherapists, and counselors, many of whom themselves are former cultists or have been exposed to destructive cults or other coercive influence techniques. They have specialized training and/or experience working with people who may have been harmed by individuals and groups. Cult Recovery assists group members and their families make the sometimes difficult transition from coercion to renewed individual choice.
-
Freedom of Mind
At the Freedom of Mind Resource Center we believe that everyone deserves the right to build their life free from undue influence. We support those affected by undue influence by providing coaching and consulting services as well as training and educational resources for individuals, families and professionals.
Psycho-Educational Courses for Cult Survivors
Take Back Your Life Recovery is a collaborative effort between Dr. Janja Lalich, educator, author, and international authority on cults and coercion, and two experienced mental-health professionals: Beth Matenaer, Licensed Professional Counselor and Sally Martin, Licensed Clinical Social Worker. We develop and facilitate psychoeducational interactive sessions and practical healing tools for survivors of cults or other types of closed or extremist groups, coercive and high-demand environments, and destructive and controlling relationships. Our aim is to provide the information and resources our clients need to effectively heal from a variety of harmful and/or traumatic personal experiences. Additionally, we create course material and training sessions to educate and train helping professionals to better assist such clients.